


Mr Brightside

by blainedarling



Series: we could have been [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-19
Updated: 2013-05-19
Packaged: 2017-12-12 08:52:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/809689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blainedarling/pseuds/blainedarling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Based on the song of the same name by The Killers</p>
    </blockquote>





	Mr Brightside

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the song of the same name by The Killers

_I'm coming out of my cage  
And I’ve been doing just fine  
Gotta gotta be down  
Because I want it all_

Sebastian had been just fine on his own. He’d been perfectly content with the walls he’d built up to protect himself. He knew what he wanted and he knew how to get it. It was simple, easy and uncomplicated, just the way he liked it. 

Or, at least, it had been until Blaine Anderson had reappeared into his life. It was a strange effect the other man had on him, and always had had as long as Sebastian had known him. There was something about Blaine that made him not just want to be a better man, but to want to let him in. 

They’d become friends again; maybe even best friends, but Sebastian had never quite dared to ask. Back in high school, Sebastian had allowed Blaine to see glimpses of his real self in what, back then, he would have called moments of weakness. He realised only later that those were the times when he was strongest of all. 

It was different, in those early days when the pair were reunited, a chance meeting in a coffee shop on a cold and windy day. Sebastian had new defenses built up but there were chinks in the armor and Blaine still knew just how to find them. 

In some ways, Sebastian couldn’t even find it in himself to be frustrated at how easily Blaine got to him, as he had been once. That someone was willing to take the time to even try sent an unfamiliar warmth coursing from his head right down to the tips of his toes, a flurry of sparks shooting through his stomach. From time to time, he would even let himself entertain the possibility that maybe it could become something more; usually late at night as he lay tossing and turning in the cool sheets of his bed, hand slipping into his underwear with a breathy sigh.

_It started out with a kiss  
How did it end up like this?  
It was only a kiss  
It was only a kiss_

It was a December night, an icy wind racing through the streets that hinted that the first signs of snow were on the horizon. Blaine had finally managed to get Sebastian to agree to meet him to do a little Christmas shopping together, and now the man himself was late.

Sebastian jammed his hands into his pockets, burying his face in his scarf as much as he could, the wind sending chills racing up and down his spine unpleasantly. He rolled his eyes, somewhat affectionately, as Blaine hurtled around the corner, nearly skidding on the streets that were just starting to frost up.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, my boss would not stop talking,” Blaine sighed, screeching to a halt in front of him.  
Sebastian just shook his head, tutting under his breath, although there was a smile quirking at the corners of his mouth. He watched as Blaine’s eyelashes fluttered, his gaze darting around them to look at the glittering display of festive decorations along the street before they fell back onto Sebastian. His cheeks were pink from the cold, wild curls just peeking out of the brim of his hat in exactly the way Sebastian knew he hated.

“What?” Blaine asked, laughing softly, his head tilted in question.  
“Your hair is taking over,” Sebastian teased, reluctantly pulling a hand out of the warmth of his pocket to tuck the offending curl back under.   
Blaine nearly went cross-eyed as he tried to watch, his tongue just peeking out in concentration. “Oh,” he grumbled, letting out a huff of breath that glowed white in the air before vanishing.

“You need gloves,” Blaine commented, grabbing Sebastian’s hand before he could lower it completely and holding onto it tightly. He leaned down a little, blowing warm air onto Sebastian’s palm a few times.   
Sebastian could feel the tickle of his breath send goosebumps all the way up his arm. “Who needs gloves when I’ve got you?” 

Blaine looked up, his mouth opening as if to retort but he paused. Somewhere in their interaction, they’d ended up taking a step closer to one another, their bodies now lined up. If Sebastian leaned down just a little, his nose would brush Blaine’s quite easily. Something uncertain flashed through Blaine’s eyes before he rocked up onto his tip toes, cold lips pressing to his for just a moment before he dropped back down.

Sebastian blinked a few times, wetting his lips slowly, before leaning down. He didn’t give Blaine a chance to flush or apologise, or whatever else he might have done, just tucked his hand firmly around the back of his neck and pressed their lips back together again. Blaine’s arms slipped around his waist as Sebastian sucked his lower lip into his mouth, and the first snowflakes began to fall. 

_Now I’m falling asleep  
And she’s calling a cab  
While he’s having a smoke  
And she’s taking a drag_

From that first kiss, things had quickly heated up between the two of them. For whatever reason, Blaine had got it into his head that Sebastian was only interested in a casual relationship, no strings attached. Sebastian had never bothered to correct him. He’d always assumed when it came to Blaine, it would be all or nothing, and for him, he would have been prepared to give all. But, just as the question was never asked, Sebastian never offered.

As much as it shouldn’t have, it worked for them. They were friends and they were lovers but the line between the two was clear and obvious. They were never both at the same time; it was never a relationship.

It was May when Sebastian first found out that Blaine was seeing someone else. A someone else that he’d been seeing for close to a month by then, but hadn’t thought it necessary to tell Sebastian until it looked like it would be turning into something more.

“So, what, that’s just it?” Sebastian asked quietly, laying propped up on his elbows in the bed as he watched Blaine get dressed. The sheets weren’t even cool yet, the sweat on his skin barely dried.  
“This was never going to be a long-term thing, Bas,” Blaine shrugged, ducking under the bed to dig out his right shoe that had been kicked under there at some point.

“Give a guy a little advance warning next time, hm?” Sebastian grunted, flopping down onto the bed, trying to ignore the wrenching feeling in his gut.  
“Aw,” Blaine cooed, popping up again as he tugged on the shoe. “There there, I’m sure you’ll be just fine with the however many other men you have along with me.” He leaned over the bed to kiss Sebastian’s forehead with a large smacking sound before taking off, calling out over his shoulder that he’d call him later. 

Except that Sebastian hadn’t been with anyone else in all the months since that first kiss with Blaine out in the cold, December street. He had Blaine, he didn’t need anyone else. Or, rather, he had had Blaine.

Sebastian closed his eyes, curling into a ball on his side, hoping to push it all aside and just fall into a peaceful slumber. _Things always look better in the morning,_ his mother had used to say to him. _You just have to go to sleep._ He wished later that he had stayed up all night instead.

_Now they’re going to bed  
And my stomach is sick  
And it’s all in my head_

It was as if he was floating just outside the window of Blaine’s apartment. He could see them - Blaine, and this man of his. In his subconscious, he looked like Kurt, the boy who had kept Blaine from him all those years ago. He watched with a growing sensation of nausea as the man tugged Blaine towards the bed, hands on his hips. They were laughing, soft lustful chuckles of desire and love.

_But she’s touching his chest now  
He takes off her dress now  
Let me go  
And I just can’t look its killing me  
And taking control_

The man’s hands were moving up, over Blaine’s chest and arms, tugging his shirt from his pants as they fell back onto the bed. They were moving with more purpose, breaths turning to pants as they struggled with clothes, bodies entwining. 

Sebastian wanted to scream, to reach out and tug him away. Away from his Blaine; skin that he had touched, lips that he had kissed, a warmth that he had once believed to be his when it never had been.

He struggled at the invisible grips on his body, keeping him locked, unable to move away from watching the scene unfold, no more capable to burst in and stop what was happening. He was just suspended in mid-air, forced to endure the ache of watching Blaine scream a man’s name, that wasn’t his own.

Sebastian woke up in his own bed what could have been seconds or hours later, his heart hammering furiously in his chest. His mouth was dry and rough, his skin burning although he was shivering. He glanced up at the open window, storming across the room to slam it shut before sinking down into the bed. He didn’t let himself sleep again that night.

_Jealousy, turning saints into the sea  
Swimming through sick lullabies  
Choking on your alibis_

Sebastian didn’t see Blaine for nearly a month. He dodged text messages, calls, emails, feigning everything from a highly infectious flu to a heavy workload. He should have known that Blaine would catch up to him eventually, tracking him down to the corner of his favourite coffee shop where he sat with a thick book and a mug of tea, glasses propped up on his nose, hair tousled and unkempt.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” Blaine stated, dropping down into the chair next to him uninvited.   
Sebastian looked up over the top of his book for a moment, before dropping his gaze back down. “I’ve been busy.”  
Blaine had taken to styling his hair more carefully again, it seemed, and he was clean shaven to boot. Sebastian could remember spending whole weekends with a wild haired, scruffy Blaine as they moved from the bed only when it was absolutely necessary, and even then it was just to the bathroom or kitchen.   
“I can see that,” Blaine mumbled, raising an eyebrow at the book. “Not like you’ve read that book a hundred times already.”

“How’s whatshisname?” Sebastian mumbled, his jaw set as he stared at the page he was no longer reading.  
“He’s good, we’re really good,” Blaine murmured, tracing circles on the surface of the table as he smiled softly.  
“Wonderful, so happy for you,” Sebastian replied curtly, turning a page to keep up his act.

Blaine sighed, tugging the book from his hands. “Just what is your problem? You don’t even know him!”  
“I don’t need to know him to know he’s not good enough for you,” Sebastian snapped, reaching out for his book, which the other man stubbornly kept held out of his reach.  
“Oh, and who is, then? You?” 

There was a pause, Blaine’s face showing instant regret at the words, Sebastian’s expression passive, not even a flicker of emotion. It was the final building block in the reconstruction of the wall around Sebastian’s life.  
“No, not me,” Sebastian said quietly, standing up and tugging the book out of his hands as he grabbed his things. “I’ll see you around, Blaine.”

_But it’s just the price I pay  
Destiny is calling me  
Open up my eager eyes  
‘Cause I’m Mr Brightside_

That night, Sebastian went out for the first time in over half a year. He pulled on his tightest pair of jeans and his favourite shirt, the right amount of product in his hair and slipped a fresh condom into his wallet. As he looked in the mirror before he went out, he let his usual smirk slip back onto his face. That was the Sebastian that he knew best. The only thing that was off, although he refused to acknowledge it, was the glimmer in his eye, the playful gleam. One of the many things to get lost in the debris.

The club was full, bodies grinding together in the damp, dark heat. The bartender looked surprised to see him, a returned regular, slapping down his usual drink.  
“I was starting to think you’d gotten a boyfriend,” he chuckled, winking before he turned to the next man waiting at the bar.   
Sebastian laughed bitterly, downing the drink in one gulp as he let his eyes trail over the men in the club.

Within seconds of him stepping out onto the dance floor, there was a man at his side, tall, attractive, broad shouldered with dark eyes that smoldered in the flickering lights. Within ten minutes, he was in the bathroom with one hand in the man’s hair as he fucked into the warm heat of his mouth. 

When Sebastian stumbled back to his apartment that night, he’d had far too much to drink and more orgasms than he could count on one hand. He grinned as he stepped through the front door, congratulating himself on a successful night. He winced when he bumped into the table in the hallway, knocking a photo frame down. 

Sebastian paused, picking it up to look at the smiling faces of Blaine and himself, taken that December night, standing out in the falling snow. He threw it to the floor, the glass shattering against the wood, the photo itself falling face down.

“Blaine?” he slurred to himself with a cold laugh as he wandered into his bedroom, kicking at the shards of glass along the way. “Blaine who?”


End file.
